Brother Earth, Sister Water
by Debonair Dragon -a.k.a. Dragonair
Summary: Goku is born from the earth, right? When Sanzo finds him, he also finds another heretic, one born from water...
1. when sarus collide

Disclaimer: I don't Saiyuki, but I'm working on that!

(Insert Jaws Theme)

(Insert Insane Cackling)

(Insert the Sound of Being Covered By Red Tape)

Me: Waaahhh!

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Sanzo, for the umpteenth time that day, wondered why he took that god damned _monkey_ from that cave. Sure, the voices in his head stopped, but as they pulled away from the mountain, the monkey started getting restless. He kept looking back at the mountain, as if leaving something behind. And a new voice was starting up too.

Fuck.

By the time they were at the foot of the mountain, he had to hold the monkey back from running back up the mountain. Why was he stopping a mere nuisance from running back up the mountain and, hopefully, get himself killed? Because whoever it was up there hated him, and when that happened, guess who it was that would have to drag his ass down that mountain? With now **TWO** voices in his head?

He cursed again when the monkey's flailing limbs caught him in the jaw. He sent a glare into the saru's golden eyes, which made him stop. For a moment.

As his jaw was hit for a third time in as many minutes, he let the damned gaki go.

"What do you want from me!" Sanzo shouted "You want to go back up that god damned mountain? Go ahead!"

He turned and started stomping away from the mountain, an oncoming headache, and that damned gaki.

Said gaki glared at him and dashed into the forest canopy, making one hell of a racket, disturbing everything that got into his path.

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"Fuck." Sanzo said plainly. He had been searching for the saru for _hours_ now. His feet were scratched because his slippers had long since been worn down to nothing, his robe was damaged as well, and muscles he didn't even know he_ had_ were hurting like hell. But none of that compared to having TWO voices in his head now, as well as a pounding migraine.

He started following a river upstream; hoping that a bath in the nearby waterfalls would clears his head. As he neared the falls he started seeing ofuda on the nearby rocks.

That was funny, he didn't see or hear any waterfalls when he took that gaki out of the cave. Intrigued, he followed the ofudas.

As he arrived at the waterfalls, he saw the gaki that he had been searching for playing in the water. He picked up his pace. He would pound that monkey into next week! As he neared the monkey, he realized something. The gaki wasn't playing, he was looking for something.

Che.

Like it mattered.

He walked silently, sneaking up behind the bane of his existence. He took out his fan, which had miraculously remained pristine during his _hike_…

**THWAP**

He grinned as he kept slapping, hoping that this would teach the kid from wandering off the beaten path, but stopped as he noticed that the idiot wasn't even _looking_ at him. He snorted as he put the fan back in his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, taking as deep a drag as humanly possible. He sighed and tried the civilized approach.

"YOU GOD DAMNED GAKI!"

Okay, that wasn't such a great start. He sighed again and took another drag. He exhaled.

"Would you mind telling me what you're doing in the fucking water, Shithead?"

Okay, that was a tiny bit better.

Too bad he didn't get a response.

A vein throbbed on his forehead

Still nothing.

His hand twitched.

He'd give this baka ten seconds to respond

1…2…9...

THWAP

This time, he couldn't be ignored.

"ITAI!"

"I WON'T ASK YOU AGAIN YOU PATHETIC—"

"LOOKING"

Sanzo turned his head to the object of his ire. Only to sweatdrop. He was being ignored again. He sighed and went to lean on the rock beside the waterfalls, rubbing the bridge of his nose in an effort to stop the migraine, which seemed to have disappeared when he found Mr. Mystery over there, from coming back.

Imagine his surprise when even the only voice in his head (aside from his own) STARTED FADING! He spared a glance at the Saru. HIS voice in his head had stopped some time ago, so that meant…

He experimentally took a few steps away from the falls, only to be greeted by a loudening of the voice. He marched straight into the waterfalls, ignoring his now wet attire, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw the sight that met him.

Another saru.

Great.

Suddenly, the migraine he felt coming a while ago seemed mild compared to the one he felt right now.

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okay, the Mr. Mystery crack is because of Goku's tendency to not talk. Sucked, I know, but I couldn't resist. I'm not known for my willpower, only my lack of skill in writing.

Catch you on the flipside! Later!

DDDD

July 5, 2005

10:28 pm

PLEASE REVIEW!


	2. encounter of the demon kind

Disclaimer:

Me: (Still untangling Red Tape)

Lawyers: (insert mad cackling)

Onlookers: (Sweatdrops)

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Sanzo looked at the two who were frantically hugging and wondered what he was getting into. Most of the words coming out of their mouths were gibberish to him. They were speaking so damn fast! The only thing he actually understood was their names, and that was only because they kept repeating it.

After about fifteen minutes of 'reacquainting' themselves with each other, Sanzo sighed and separated them the only way he knew how,

"Damare, Baka sarus!"

THWAP

THWAP

Sanzo turned his back to the two sputtering gakis, putting away his harisen, and started down the path. Surely, with two of them, they could survive long enough to find the nearest town,

"SANZO! CHOTTO MATTE YO! SANZO!"

But alas, fate was as unforgiving as ever, and a second voice joined in next to the first one, familiarizing itself around the name Sanzo knew he would hear from them many more times.

"SAN-ZO! MATTE, SANZO!"

Said Sanzo stopped and waited for them to catch up, hopeful that they would shut up when they did. Mercifully, they did. Nevertheless, as they walked towards his encampment, the migraine in between Sanzo's eyes grew. Ugh, at least things can't get any worse.

Oh, how wrong he was.

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Sanzo felt his eyes widen to the size of the platters Goku was eating out of. Damn the kid could eat! His gaze shifted over to Genkai who was following Goku at a more sedate pace. Then again, it was impossible not to.

He groaned. They would have to get to town by tomorrow or starve.

Muttering, he picked up what was left of their rations and started packing. Having finished, he started to throw the pack at the nearest saru.

Suddenly inspiration struck, and he just managed to catch the pack before it hit its target. Slipping it on himself, he sneaked quietly away from where the two were contentedly sleeping.

_'They should be,' _he thought contemptuously. _'God-damn near finished everything I had in my pack!' _

He started down the path, making sure to step lightly but quickly. If he hurried, he could make it to the town after the next.

As he looked back at the path he had just taken, he saw that they were no longer visible. He huffed at their general direction and started running. Dusk was starting to fall and he didn't want to spend another night in the jungle.

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Sanzo leaned against a tree, panting. Little black dots swirled in his vision. _'What a GREAT idea! Running 7 fucking miles non-stop,' _he thought sarcastically. _'IN YOUR SANDALS, NO LESS! AND THE **RAIN** SURE MADE IT FUN! _

He took a deep breath and released it. _'LET'S NOT FORGET THE BUSHES! WITH THORNS! AND THE ROCKS! THE GREAT BIG DAMNED **BOULDERS**! _ He ranted in his head.

He took out a cigarette and flicked his lighter to life. Thinking the better of it though, he put both back in his pocket. He would probably faint if he smoked, his brain being oxygen deprived as it is. _'Too late,' _he thought as the world turned sideways.

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The demon looked over his find. A bit skinny and nearly all muscle. That meant it wouldn't have been easy to subdue, even tougher to eat.

Nevertheless, the youkai once again thanked his lucky stars for the good fortune and heaved the human onto his shoulders. He had a lot of mouths to feed.

Leaping agilely through the forest canopy, he headed back to his cave, though cave didn't seem to do it justice. It was just like an ordinary house, really. It just happened to be mostly underground.

Making sure to keep quiet, he set the human on the floor and headed to the kitchen to fetch knives and towels. It simply wouldn't do to have your floor stained with blood. As he fetched the items he sought, he thought about what he was doing.

He was about to disembowel a human, a priest by the looks of it, and feed it to his children without them knowing what it was. He was doing a good thing, really. The nearest town was terribly overpopulated and demons were, for some reason, the first to go. By eating humans he was not only solving that problem but also keeping his family and himself alive, he rationalized.

He arrived in the room designated for the aforementioned deed. As he did, he wondered what he should do. Should he slit the throat and let the heart do the work of driving the blood out, or straight to the heart so as not to give the meat time to tense and toughen up?

Thinking about his dilemma, he didn't notice golden eyes watching him. Coming to a decision, he poised the knife above his victim's neck. He started sliding it along skin, drawing barely a drop of blood, hoping that it would not feel any pain.

Violet eyes flared open and he leapt back, hissing. Damn! The previously sleeping human stood up shakily, still tired from _Its_ run. Forgetting the knife in his hands, he leapt at the figure, tackling _It_ to the ground. He had a chokehold on _Its_ throat, but a knee to the groin sent him sprawling near the creature's head. _It_ stood up, pointing a gun at his head. He cursed himself for not disarming _It_ in the first place as he swiftly kicked the gun out of _its_ hands.

It made a clattering noise as it hit a wall.

The ningen dashed for the gun but tripped over the hem of _Its_ robe, obviously fatigued. Running towards the same gun, he realized that he wouldn't pick it up in time because _It_ was still skidding to the same target, so he settled for stepping on his adversary's hand. Said adversary clutched at _his_ broken hand with the other, seemingly forgetting all about the gun. He leaned over _him_, making sure to kneel on _his_ shoulders as an extra precaution. He placed a claw directly above the blonde's chest._ He_ was a threat. _He_ had to die and it had to be now.

The youkai was suddenly on the ground, staring at the ceiling. He felt himself being hit by at least a dozen tiny fists. Looking down at his person, he saw that this wasn't so. Only two clumps of brown hair were attacking him. Pushing them aside with negligent ease, he faced his original opponent, only to find himself staring down the barrel of a gun.

"Shine."

And he was no more.

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Sanzo glared at the youkai as it fell. He shot the corpse a few more time then walked over to check it. Being sure it was dead, the monk only had time to take a few steps away before the smell of blood reached his nose and darkness overtook him. But before he hit the ground, four thin arms shot out to catch him

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The next time Sanzo opened his eyes, it was to find a pair of golden ones peering right back, a mere inch from his own. They stared at him.

In an instant, he sat up and whacked the figure above him. But instead of the usual reaction, which was to pout with teary eyes and generally be annoying, the figure just hugged him around the waist.

He looked down at the figure and started pounding it with a fist. IT WOULDN'T LET GO! He stopped for a few seconds to search for his fan but was attacked from behind. With his arms now pinned beside him he did the only thing he could.

He screamed.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? YOU DENSE, DIM-WITTED, _DAMNED_, BRAINLESS BAKA SARUS! DAMARE! GET YOUR SHITTY HANDS OFF ME!...

AND AN HOUR LATER…

"…AND YOU'RE HURTING ME! YOU…"

The two suddenly backed off, raising their hands in the universal 'peace' gesture. But with his arms now free, he turned his backside to them, rummaging through the makeshift pillow (i.e. his robes).

Finding what he was looking for, he raised his harisen in triumph, only to bring it down on harshly the unsuspecting children's heads.

"ITAI!" they said in stereo. But Sanzo was ready for them.

" . t#&))GT!& G!( #& ! # (&)#) &! # &) !) E!E!$! #!# &!#">!#$&# ! #$! #(!# &!#!# #& !#& !( #(!# E1(!(!> . t#&))GT!& G!( #& ! # (&)#) &! # &) !) E!E!$! #!# &!$&(& $& &$ $ &&$ R R R R&R &&&&T#" he continued to shout hitting them with The Fan all the while.

When he tired of it, which was almost half an hour later, he was nearly as out of breath as he was when he had run the insanely long distance. He _knew_ his voice was hoarse but he didn't care. With luck, he wouldn't have to shout again.

He snorted. Since when was luck ever on his side?

He looked over to the kid's he had previously yelled at. They were just standing there looking sad, ready to cry, even.

_'They look like a couple of pitiful dogs. Ones that have been hit too many times,'_ Sanzo thought. _'Which they kind of were, in a sense.' _He relented.

He rolled his eyes, which they took as an act of forgiveness, maybe even an apology. They immediately jumped him, causing him to fall on his ass.

They looked surprised by their own bravery, staring at Sanzo's eyes, more so when Sanzo did nothing to stop them. They hugged him tighter, happily cutting off his circulation.

_'Where on earth did they get THAT idea?'_ He thought as he leaned back contentedly on the tree conveniently behind him.

He flicked away the remains of his cig and closed his eyes. Within minutes he was out like a light.

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Glossary

1. Damare – Stop it

2. Baka – Stupid

3. Saru – Monkey

4. Harisen – Sanzo's paper fan

5. Chotto Matte – wait a minute / wait for me

6. Youkai – demon

7. Ningen - human

The twins are acting childish in the face of Sanzo's tyranny because (1) they _were_ children and (2) they weren't used to him yet. Don't worry; they get better as the story progresses.

I think that there will be more of the twins in the next chapter, so keep your fingers crossed! Also, because I suck at writing fight scenes, I italicized the pronouns that refer to Sanzo. If you want to read it again, to clear the confusion, be my guest but the fight won't come up much in later chapters so if you just want to review, I would still be very happy. (flames will be used as lighter fluid for Sanzo's lighter.

Also this fic will not be Goku/Oc, it doesn't have a pairing yet. But I am a big supporter of Sanzo/Goku and it might happen, you never know…

Hope you enjoyed it! Once again, Please Review!

DDDD

'

August 26, 2005

10:13 pm


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